I languished in a wasteful youth afraid that nothing good would ever happen to me.

But God…

Those two words start so many wonderful chapters in the bible, and they started one in my life as well. I gave my heart completely to Jesus Christ when I was a freshman in college. It took me another two years to turn away from the poor choices and painful consequences of a life already lived so far away from love and good. But in the end, the steadfast chesed (loving-kindness) of my God and Savior stopped the vicious cycle of self-sabotaging deeds. I was free!

I met my husband in my senior year of college, and between our love for a shared gospel and one another, we felt nothing could stand in our way. We both come from horribly abusive and broken homes so it was a priority, from the beginning, that we emulate a family built on the principles of grace. I don’t believe either of us had ever worked harder than those years of breaking down the painful legacies of addiction, narcissism, sexual abuse, and debauchery. Every decision was weighed against the word of God and made with an eye for the future of our children.

And those children came. God granted us seven healthy, amazing, beautiful people to shepherd and guide: Savannah (17); Ginny (15); Asher (13); Georgia (12); Olivia (9); Nathan (7); and Hope (5). Our strongest desire is to see each of these individuals come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. But only slightly second is that they would grow up in a home free from the trials and pain that were such a present reminder of brokenness to me and Joseph.

This was not to be.

After spending seventeen years fighting to keep evil and pain out of our home, we learned that it was not only present but that it had captured four of our children. This blog is the true (and sometimes raw) story of how Jesus is meeting the needs of a family torn apart by sexual abuse – a family that is not broken through divorce, alcohol or substance abuse, pornography, or spiritual deadness. We had the right conversations with our children. We spoke openly about boundaries and shame. We pressed into hard and awkward moments so that our children could be armed with truth and not just pithy sayings.

We do not fit the mold.

And yet, our enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

We are believing God that it will not be us.